WIVES

WIVES

Ah, wives; where in the world did that idea come from?   Why should we marry women, and why shouldn't we treat them like property, as they do in other countries?   And why do Christian countries like the U.S. uphold their rights when their husbands treat them in less than wonderful ways?   Think the bible has anything to do with it? Let's see what the bible says about...WIVES!

"And the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.'...And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen. 2:18, 21 - 24) So here we see that God, in His great omniscience, saw it prudent for us to have a help meet, someone to cleave to and enjoy companionship with all of our days. Someone to fulfill us, make us complete in a way not sinful.

Ah, but now there are two kinds of wives, and Solomon wrote something about the two in one of his contributions to the Old Testament: "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." (Prov. 12:4) So a husband's ability to choose a wife is reflected in what reward he gets in making his wise or foolish choice! And there's more..."Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Prov. 14:1) Again, Solomon contrasts a wise wife and a foolish one. What is the wise wife doing? She makes her husband happy and builds her house up, while the foolish one brings her husband joylessness and destroys her house. How does a wise woman make her husband happy? "A gracious woman retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches." (Prov. 11:16) Ah, she retains her honor. She is not acting like a strumpet who has forgotten her position. And the foolish woman? How does she pluck down her house? "A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city, to call passengers who go right on their ways: Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, 'Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.' But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell." (Prov. 9:13 - 18) Well, this is rather a plain observation of how a woman might be foolish so much asto pluck down her house in this manner, and indeed, her husband will be joyless if he hears of this misbehaving!

Wives may be chosen for wrong reasons; it is no different today as it was then, and Solomon spoke well of chosing a wife just on looks! "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion." (Prov. 11:22) The wife depicted here obviously falls in the "foolish" category. And another depiction from Solomon is of another unwise choice on the man's part for a wife; " It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." (Prov. 21:9, 25:24) You might imagine this type of wife making a workaholic out of the husband, and leading him to an early grave! But also, truly Solomon has shown us another example of a wife who makes a man's life joyless. Here is another depiction from Solomon of a similar wife: " It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." (Prov. 21:19) How artful he was at depicting espoused life with different choices of wives!

"A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself." (Prov. 27:15 - 16) Do you get the idea Solomon made some bad choices for wives, and is speaking from experience? What colorful ways he chose to speak of poor wife choices! If you make a bad choice for a wife, she will either betray your decision with her words or her actions, but oh, how she cannot be hidden what manner of wife one has chosen!

"For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress." (Prov. 30:21 - 23) Let us look at the last of the four depictions here first; only the last two apply, anyway. If a handmaid dispossesses her mistress, and her mistress is the wife, this speaks loads about the wife's attention to what is going on in her house! A wise wife would surely get a different handmaid in a short period of time! Now we have to illustrate what an odious woman is. This is a woman who has such a disposition that few, if any, care to associate with her. Few people call her "friend", nor do they visit her often, if at all. Odious women are typically considered ill-tempered and unpleasant. These are not wise choices for wives who have characters like these.

For the sake of brevity, I will just print the first three verses of Solomon's description of a capable, wise choice for a wife. I would invite you to open a bible to Prov. 31:10 - 31 and read the whole illustration from Solomon of what a good choice for a wife is like, but here are the first three verses of Solomon's depiction: "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." (Prov. 31:10 - 12) Sounds like a great choice already, doesn't it?

"And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless. Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things." (1 Tim. 3:10 - 11) When speaking to Timothy concerning bishops and deacons, Paul mentioned also that the choice of wife cast into the lot of whether a man should be in either office. If a man chose rather poorly who his wife was, and she reflected the depictions of some of the poor choices Solomon mentioned, then these wives would be a great distraction from the offices they wanted to hold, so godly men seeking godly offices must also have godly wives!

Paul also wrote a letter to Titus about good wives, even the older ones of the church. Wives were exhorted to have the following qualities, so that they should be counted as godly women in the church. If they are godly in the church, it is likely they behave in a godly manner at home, too! "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (Tit. 2:3 - 5)

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." (1 Pet. 3:1 - 6) Here Peter is explaining what a godly wife behaves like, and he uses Abraham's wife for an example of the model wife! A choice wife is not just beautiful on the outside, but on the inside! A choice wife has all the qualities explained herein of a wise wife, a godly wife, meek and obedient toward her husband.

Don't think I'll totally leave the husbands free of responsibilities, you who are wives! Peter explains that the husbands have a responsibility to treat their wives properly, that they should be able to tolerate to work out any marital problems, even be able to pray together as the one flesh they were meant to be! "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1 Pet. 3:7)

I want to cover one last thing about the interrelationship between the model husband and the model wife. Paul wrote to the Ephesians of such an ideal couple. Husbands have responsibilities to the wives as Christ has to the church, and wives have responsibilities to their husbands as the church does to the Lord, being submissive to him as to the Lord in all godly things he asks. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh." (Eph. 5:22 - 31)

Wives have a choice; they can be able to fit the depictions of Solomon of a poor choice of wife, and thereby behave not as God would have them, or they can choose to behave as Paul, Peter, and Solomon depicted a good wife. If you have read this, and you realize you have been as the first illustrations, you can always repent and become as the latter depictions! We have a good and wonderful God to talk to about it!